Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
