the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
