I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
