what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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