i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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