Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
