I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
