shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
