New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
