so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
