Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
