The maid of honor just puked.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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