I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
