i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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