'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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