I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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