also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
