Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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