My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
