In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
