PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
