did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
