Fuck appropriateness.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
