4 words: hood of his car
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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