White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
