Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
