My nipple is on Facebook.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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