Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
