Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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