Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
