Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
