But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
