He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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