operation have a gay friend backfired
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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