You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
