we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
