Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
