he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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