Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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