every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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