Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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