My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
