omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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