nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
