whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
