i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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