East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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