My friends, they love my intelligence
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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