3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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