this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Rumble strips road head = magical
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
