Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
