Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
