I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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