Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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