ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
